It is amazing to think of the many costumes ones trauma can dress themselves in. Ever changing, it is amazing how they sneak into our days, our thoughts,
our consciousness,
without invite, or an agenda.
It just shows up. Cloaked in my uncontrollable emotions, dripping in the memories that haunt me, and dangling from it shiny pieces like jewelry, which symbolize all that I have lost along the way.
I am a queen of my trauma, but that is not without the weight of all that I have conquered and lost along the way.
Although there has been many years since my life changing pain was experienced, over time those experiences have created deep pathways in my brain. Fast tracks for my trauma to get where it is going, and interrupt my day. To remind me of my pain, to interfere with my relationships, to make decisions about my life, while I stand frozen.
While I stand there mesmerized by how it always looks so different, but is experienced the same.
ashpapzs 