Sitting in my underwear on my back porch on a Saturday morning thinking about how to manifest my destiny. Im 31 in two weeks. Maybe its the weed talking, or the espresso, or this book on being Single and Happy but i’m stumped. How to I manifest my biggest values into my future. How to I really stop living to live, and trade that in for living with a purpose, and intention.
I am not saying i’m not halfway there already. I have a rewarding job where I effect change through education and counseling. I often remind myself that I am part of someones solution, instead of their problem. I maintain authentic and supportive friendships, and have learned in various kinds of relationships to leave the table when love is no longer being served. I am self sufficient (for the most part) and I am working on my personal shortcomings to improve myself as a human. I have goals- and fears. I drink too much, I get lonely.
What is it that I really want to do? I want to effect change. I want to know that I contributed to the world in a way that made it better. I don’t necessarily think I need to be learned about in history class. But I want to leave my mark on people. I used to want to be a writer. Again, it could be the vast amount of time I wasted away my youth watching Sex and the City, wanting to be the black Carrie Bradshaw (I envisioned myself looking eerily similar to Scary Spice) but that whitewashed unrealistic fashion fiesta was my dream. But I never worked towards manifesting it. I just assumed it would happen like when Alice fell into the well. Now I will attempt to live with intention. I want to write and express myself and utilize my values to engage in life. It starts with this, just doing it even though it feels uncomfortable.
The magic is outside my comfort zone too.
ashpapzs 